Copy of A Year on from my Dyslexia Assessment #1
As some of you will have read, this time last year I went for an assessment for dyslexia, which showed that I am dyslexic. A year on and I’ve done a lot of thinking and added more strategies to my way of working, so I thought I’d share some reflections on this.
The first thing to say is that I’m not stupid. I say this as it’s still my ‘go to’ when stressed and I’m learning to actually believe that I’m intelligent. According to my assessment I’m on the 99.8 and 99th percentile for intellect; interesting since I’ve always believed that I didn’t have innate intelligence, just a good work ethic and the resilience to keep trying. This shows how important it is to praise hard work as I’m sure that this resilience is why I’m so close to becoming Dr Hélène Cohen. For those of you who read my earlier blog, and spoiler alert for those who now wish to trawl through the previous blogs to find the original one about my assessment, I did get through the viva. I had really good preparation and strategies. I made up cards with key points in few words for each possible area of questioning. I took my time to find the appropriate card and requested a repetition of the question once the relevant card was found.
I may have passed the viva, but I have had the task this year of rewriting much of the thesis. It transpired that while I could satisfactorily answer questions in the viva, much of what I said, and thought I’d written, was not actually on the paper. Not unusual for one with dyslexia, since the words in my head merge with those on the page, meaning that I think I’ve written words and ideas that prove to have remained as thoughts alone.
Another aspect of the rewrite was the jumble of ideas, things that I thought had been written in logical sequence proved otherwise. So it’s been a mammoth rewrite, and I’m nearing the end of that process. Hopefully by October I’ll know whether I’ve finally done enough to deserve the now much wanted title of Dr. There were rewrites in every chapter of the thesis, some minor but some virtually complete rewrites. Whilst it would have been easy to give up at various points this year, I’ve been motivated to keep going for a few reasons. The first is the way my children – all adults – and their partners showed me how proud they are of all I’ve done to date. Amazing having my children telling me that, when it’s usually the other way round. They came down from all over the country – they’re scattered around a bit these days – to surprise me with a day of spoiling me in my own home. Totally overwhelmed me. The second reason is my supervisor, who has been so very supportive. She was in the viva – sat where I couldn’t look at her, as per the rules – but this meant that she understood what was said by the examiners and has been able to chunk down what I’ve needed to do do that it’s been more manageable.
So strategies added to my collection. I now record all important meetings. I hadn’t realised how much of what is said in a meeting I forget or misremember. I have always taken notes, but the trouble is that when I look back at them, many of them are meaningless. Recording meetings has helped me to systematically address all feedback on my work – my rewriting of the rewriting. Systematically is another key thing. I make better use of subheadings to keep my writing in a logical sequence and I read back, aloud, what I have written to ensure that it makes sense. I am trying to become more aware of when I say things aloud that I think I’m just saying in my head. This is something I’ve always done; it’s as though saying it aloud cements it as a thought. I’m also less embarrassed about asking for repetitions, as I now realise that this is just something I need in order to process and remember what has been said. Again, this is not a sign of stupidity, just the speed of processing and ways to remember. I have also asked a few people to read through my thesis for me. This was hard for me as I felt extremely vulnerable about my writing after the viva. I am fortunate enough to have extremely supportive friends, some of whom I became friends with through undertaking the EdD. People have been kind in their feedback, pointing out my inconsistencies and getting me to double check when meaning is ambiguous. Fresh eyes viewing the work is extremely helpful and a strategy that I recommend.
I’m also learning Hebrew. I know the letters, always have, but I’m trying to learn it as a language as opposed to a decoding exercise. The interesting thing for me has been that I make the same errors in Hebrew as in English. There are certain letters I reverse and confuse; there are those whose order I reverse when reading or typing words; and there are words that I repeatedly get muddled. However, it’s proving to be worthwhile as it’s making me focus on those areas of literacy. I’m using the Duo Lingo app for this and my determination means that I want to keep up my 86 day streak.
The main benefits from the assessment, besides the obvious ones of really understanding my areas of weakness, are understanding my areas of strength and beginning to believe in myself more. The surprising benefit has been the way it’s encouraged others to have their assessments. I lectured on a foundation course at uni. It was an introduction to special educational needs – no surprises there – and I started by explaining that I would be using a range of strategies throughout my lectures that could be used in class to support learning. I then explained that I was also using them as I needed them myself, due to being dyslexic. This took away any embarrassment from any students who had wondered about their own possible SEND. It is not unusual for those interested in SEND – TA’s, LSAs, and SENCOs – to have or know someone who has some form of SEND. This certainly proved to be the case for several of my students and I was told by them that sharing my experience helped them to come to terms with and be assessed for their own needs.
Whatever the area of need, we are so much more than any SEND we may have, and our SEND can give us strengths in other areas. Building resilience and self belief are essential tools to help through life. Hopefully teachers reading this will give learners the time, patience and support that build our toolkit of strategies and gives us the resilience to succeed. I know I’ve been so fortunate in the support that I have had from key people throughout my own journey. Some of that will be for a future blog.
